Friday, November 7, 2008

State of Ricky Address

As I spend more time with Ricky, the specifics of the damage done are becoming more apparent to me. Last night Rob & I spent a few hours with him, and I watched him basically reset. His head is like a sieve, and new memories are fleeting. (Although he somehow knows an insane amount of current hockey stats) Because of this, he is kind of constantly having to inquire about what happened to him, what is going on with his apartment, etc. This, as you can imagine, is very frustrating for him. I've noticed he is quicker to become agitated when discussing these things. I've had to tell him various times that his family came to see him, and he always seems taken aback, because in his mind, he has not seen them in years. He also seemed to feel he was going to be up and out of there a lot sooner than he actually is. He is trying to make a lot of big decisions from a muddled state of mind. Part of this, I'm sure, is because he has very little control over a great deal of the current situation. What few things he feels he can control, he's going to hold onto for dear life.

Because of his sense of panic, I think he is causing some other people to get concerned for him and these matters, some of those people are taking this out in accusatory ways, and there is a lot of finger pointing and mistrust and general confusion going on right now. I think this is a matter of too many cooks being in the kitchen.

This has to stop. Although everyone is coming from a place of caring about Ricky and his well-being, it will not help him one bit if we are not all on the same page. Criticizing the people who have thus far stepped up the most for Ricky, and made solid committments to him is not at all productive.

The first thing we have to understand is that Ricky may get fired up about things that have been dealt with and not remember.

The second thing is, I have been assured that no one other than Ricky or his family can access his bank accounts, give away his apartment, or take advantage of him in any way. Nor does anyone want to. Rest assured, the right people are aware of all of these issues. That said, if you are really concerned about something, you can message Charles or myself.

Some people have taken issue with 'not being kept up to date'. It would be a full time job to personally message every person as to his status every single day. That is why the blog is here,
and if anything major does happen, good or bad, I will post it here.

All Ricky needs you guys to do at the moment is continue supporting him, sending out your love and good will, and keep the visits coming. Those are his one shining light in a dark time for him.

Well, the visits and the Whoppers...

4 comments:

Jaime said...

What are his favourite kind of cookie? I would like to take him some next week.

Nuv said...

Ricky will eat anything. I know I've seen him eat and enjoy Peanut Butter cookies (we argued about who of the two of us loved them more). Classic Chocolate Chip is always a safe bet, also..

Gillian said...

Thanks so much for taking time out to write the updates. I hope to get in to visit him next week. It's good to have some idea of what to expect.

Nuv said...

No problem.